Chance to grow

Life changes so quickly. feeling grateful to be around such wonderful people to strengthen and grow with.”  – Riley Keough

Growth is inevitable for any human being. Be it physical growth or psychic growth. The development of everyone derived from personal experiences that shape and build the personality.

The relationship that exists between the individual and the social environment are reflected in emotions, thoughts and attitudes under a single private perceptive look.

I am writing about this subject because for some time I was surprised by a feeling of stagnation. And it was impossible not to compare myself to who I used to be in the past. Plenty of engagements. Many values, whether physical or analytical priorities have now become just a flash of a second.

For a while, I was tired of thinking, tired of watching and listening.  I thought that I had already grasped everything that life could offer me in growth. I thought that new challenges were just like running another marathon and just another prize, it wouldn’t mean anything new.

And worse, after a while, it would be of no use to me. So, I stopped.

Unfortunately, it took me a long time to wake up and realize that I still had a lot to understand, I woke up and saw that the natural evolution of everyone around me continued to grow and what I knew and thought I know, today is no longer the truth.

I freaked out! How could I have been blind? Not to see that everything and everyone continued to grow and develop. Improving themselves.

Parallel to this, I still feel the fear that I will never be able to reconnect even with friends and family, that my ability to learn and keep new things has rusted.

I went to see a doctor to find out if this was a serious disease if it could be signs of Alzheimer’s or something else. But in fact, it was just a reflection of stress, a preliminary stage of depression. This only started to happen during the period that I had decided to stop. Procrastination.

I need to do something about it.

I woke up from my dream, that was the first step. The second step was to start listening more of everything and everyone around me, and much of the things said, I couldn’t understand. I was hit by the lost time. What are they talking about?

Socially speaking, during catch-ups, I am no longer heard, I have become obsolete. Where everything I try to say has lost respect and voice. As if I momentarily looked crazy.

 I ended up being sucked in by stronger ones, and today I can barely hear my own thoughts and get my own opinions without being criticized or ridiculed. In fact, I can’t express myself verbally anymore. I am interrupted in a constant struggle for “power of speech”.

I decided to write about it because I see this as an alert for those who get tired and think about stopping. Today I am in a state of physical and mental rehabilitation. My body needs to train, to do the small steps of growth and my mind needs to regain its ability to retain and develop knowledge and wisdom.

Never let your life get to that point.

This space, “Brittle Choice” is part of this process of rebuilding and improving each day.